Antardarshana

For ordinary people who are not exposed to the deeper consciousness, and for those who have started the journey recently, Patanjali suggests:

shraddha veerya smriti samadhi prajna purvaka itaresham

My true nature is a stranger to me. I am still the Chitta consciousness. I am still living in images and those images do not constitute my true self. Image is not my true entity. Image is a false crutch and I hold on to it. I have developed an inferiority complex – I can’t do. I can’t do. This image is also responsible for the numerous strong sentiments like those towards my caste and my religion. I am this and I am that. This samskara has developed so strongly that even if the shruti says – You are akhanda –ananta-ananda, I don’t agree. Our guruji is asserting it, so let me just listen to him, but I know I am this small, petty being. I want to protect this image and I have been fighting to protect this image. Constantly I am fighting, every minute I am fighting to protect this small, petty image of myself. 

This Shastras say that this image is only a small bubble in the great ocean. When the bubble breaks its individuality, then it merges ith the ocean and becomes infinite. Allow the bubble to break. Patanjali says have Shraddha in your true nature. Have trust in the words of Rishi. Have trust in the words of your tradition. Depression is a cloud that wants to pass through the sky of my true nature. Let the cloud pass. Let me see how the cloud passes. It may stay for a few minutes. Let it stay. Let me watch the sky knowing pretty well that I am not the sky. Who am I? I am the bright sun behind the cloud. So the bright sun is the only sun that is shining in the sky and all the clouds come and go. 

What else do I need? Veerya. It is not enough to have a piece of information. You have to use it. You have to develop the energy to make that information a reality. That is real sadhana. Smoking is injurious to health – is a piece of information. Shradha is there on this statement but I cannot give up smoking. I agree that smoking is injurious. Researchers in America have proved that smoking causes cancer. I know this fully well but I have no veerya to give up smoking. I do not have the strength to give up smoking. So, patanjali says that a mere intellectual grasp of the fact that I am akhanda-ananta-ananda is not enough. So what do you have to do? You have to convert that shradha into veerya. Develop that energy. Yes, I am going through depression but I am not the depression. Let the depression stay with me for some time. I am staying in this body but I am not this body. Develop the strength to detach from this body. Detach from that which is impermanent, that which is constantly going through change, decay and death. That is veerya.

One has to convert shradha into veerya, the vital energy. After converting that energy, what I have to do? I have to make shradha and veerya enter the third level of Smiriti. Smirti means Knowledge. Swami Vivekananda makes it very clear that you are potentially divine. Your very nature is the nature of divinity. Never call yourself a sinner. You are a spark of that cosmic intelligence. That is smiriti, knowledge. 

One meaning of smiriti is knowledge. Another meaning is remembering. Remember the knowledge about yourself. Who are you? You are the spark of divinity. Remember it again and again. So shradha is charged with veerya and brightened with smiriti. Then you can enter Samadhi, the state of equilibrium. Then you realize that there is an outer city and an inner city and that you are the dweller of both but you belong to neither. You are free. You can travel. That is the state of Samadhi. 

So, to have Samadhi prajna, the knowledge, the experience, the awareness of Samadhi, where you have to start? You have to start with shraddha. How do you begin? Trust yourself. Then trust your Guru. Then trust your sadhana although all unwanted negative forces will attack you. 

Swami Vivekananda says – when you travel on this path of shraddha, veerya, smiriti, you have to go through three phases. The first phase is haasya. People will make fun of you. If I feel like having some pani-puri, they will say – Oh, so you are a yogi? A yogi needs pani puri? Face them. Accept them. When you are taunted, reply in the same tone of haasya. Then slowly the inner consciousness starts evolving. Then comes the second stage Virodha. The same people will start opposing your stance – Don’t do this in this house. You have to do this. You have to do that. Accept all the opposition. Don’t fight with anybody. Why do you fight? Don’t argue. The moment you get into the argument, then you are going to suffer. If you argue while you are going through lot of internal turmoil’s, conflicts and confusions, you will not be able to convince anybody. So, during the second part of sadhana, don’t argue with anybody. Convert the negativity into a positive fragrance and give this in return. 

Then comes the third stage of svekaara. The same people who laughed at you, the same people who threw stones, will do pranams to you. In my own life, I have experienced this but I had to pay heavily. Those who taught me became my students but only after I did tapas for 10 years continuously and silently. Understand one thing. Inner sadhana is not a revolution but an evolution. Revolution requires force, vengeance. Evolution requires love, humility and a great feeling of universal love. The consciousness has to evolve. This is an evolutionary process where the bud flowers. We have to allow time for the bud to flower. It will not flower in one day. It takes time. It has to receive proteins, vitamins and the necessary energy for all petals to open out. You have to have a great patience. You have to create an environment for the petals to bloom silently. This is Sadhana. 

If you protect the dharma, the dharma is going to protect you. What does this mean? Not external dharma – fighting with each other, insulting each other; that is not dharma. Your inner consciousness has to open out, has to flower, and has to become matured petals, opened out petals and start giving the fragrance of joy and bliss to humanity. 

May you succeed in your Sadhana

Sri Pattabhiram