Sri Guru Charanam - Story Series - Part 1

Sri Guru Charanam 

"Attention! Wake up!! This is the time to listen to the music of the Lord. If you close your ears & sleep, how are you going to listen to the music of the Lord? Wake up, start preparing and surrender yourself to THAT and let the music of the Lord flow through you"...

My morning mobile alarm finally woke me from my daily routine sleep not before I snoozed it numerous times postponing my realization from the dream world. If only it had voice, it would have asked me 'Why do you trouble yourself hitting me every 15 minutes when I dutifully try my best to wake you up since you asked me to? You could have straight away set the alarm at your desired time instead of ambitious 5:00 AM?'

We don’t want to give voice to things which can question us, isn’t it? – The Morning Alarm, resolution that I take every year to be regular in my yoga Sadhana, resolution to do daily 10 rounds of Surya Namaskar, determination to sit for meditation daily at same time etc. etc., good that these things never come back to me asking why I make such resolution when I have already decided deep inside that I am never going to follow them!

With these so called philosophical thoughts when I woke up, I realized I am not in my cozy bed in my dream house, but actually in Sadhana Dhama Ashram. Oh well! I realize now. I have come here to spend few days in Ashram to strengthen my Sadhana!!! I still vividly remember my last year experience at Dhyana Mandir, where I had a great dharshan of a saint, whom I felt is a personification of Lord Hanuman…. 

Though outwardly I do not expect to see any miracle this time, I had to admit there was an inner desire within me to look out for some similar miracle this time too. That gave me a quick push to finish my morning duties in no time and I was read to take my morning stroll outside my room. 

The weather was pleasant and sweet music of birds were filling my ears which wasn’t used to this for quite some time as I was feeding them with gibberish electronic sounds.

I first went to Dhyana Mandira, did my prostration to Lord Anjaneya and sat there for some time. I could sense my mind was restless and my eye lids were repeatedly trying to open up even though I had ordered to keep it closed. I could sense what my feelings are! 

It is looking out for M I R A C L E S! 

After few minutes, I could feel someone sitting next to me. Is it the same person whom I met last year whom I still believe is the personification of Lord Hanuman. I could feel strong presence of him near me. Unable to resist, I opened my eyes and saw who is sitting next to me. 

It was ‘NOTHING’

Dhyana Mandir was looking the same as I entered. There was only presence of majestic Lord Anjaneya statue in meditative pose and myself in front of him. There was no one else. So how could I feel there was another person presence in the hall? Is it my own illusion? It didn’t take much time for me to realize that my mind is trying to play games with me. It is trying to project those things which are my inner desires. I desired to see some miracle this time of the visit and I desired to have Sadhu’s presence. So the mind played trick and made me believe that they were available right near me. Oh! My mind, quit playing games with my Heart… isn’t it a famous English song… Quit playing games with my heart, Before you tear us apart (my heart), Quit playing games with my heart, I should've known from the start…

Oh Stop! Where am I? Did I came here to sing my favourite pop songs or meditate? How easily mind can trick and take me far away from the reality! I realized I am not in right mood to sit even for few minutes. So I stood up, apologized to Lord Hanuman for having abruptly walking away from my meditation and left the room (not before I had a quick glance of the room still desiring if I could see any presence of that mysterious ‘sadhu’ anywhere!)

I did not expect my first morning in the Ashram would start like this. I had expected to be more aligned with the Satvic nature of the Ashram but instead I felt I am worse than I used to be earlier. I could not decide whether I am still interested to continue my morning Meditation or go back to room to continue my morning sleep which is ever ready to hug me. In the confused state of mind & few minutes of struggle, I could realize that I am heavily influenced with confused state of mind called ‘Manas’. Luckily I could recollect what Swami Rama had said about ‘Manas’ in one of the articles I had read over the internet:

Manas is called the doubtful faculty of your mind. Before you do something, first manas says, Shall I do it or not? That is why mind is called samkalpa-vikalpatmakam mana. Manas has no power to decide. Sometimes you want to decide, but you wait. You want to see; you want to judge; you want to understand. 

If you learn to control samkalpa and vikalpa, the opposing sensations will cease tormenting you. Samkalpa means “determination;” vikalpa means “lack of determination.” Sometimes you want to do something, yet you do not want to do it. You are continuously experiencing conflict. Shall I do it, or shall I not do it? Conflicts arise in your mind because you do not know how to decide things on time. The nature of manas is to argue and to pose questions, but it has no power to decide, to judge, or to discriminate. These are the functions of the faculty called buddhi. Manas, the doubtful part of your mind, puts both sides before buddhi, the decisive faculty, and immediately buddhi makes a decision.

You have the capacity and the potential to train the buddhi. Once you start training the buddhi, you will not waste time in judging, deciding, or doing things as you should. You will have clarity of mind, clarity of intellect. Your intellect will immediately make decisions and you will receive the fruits according to your desires. That means doing things skillfully. When you learn to do your actions skillfully, the next step is to do them selflessly—to dedicate the fruits of your actions to others.

Hmm! Baba is right (when he is not?) and at the same time I pitied myself for the inability to conquer my delusional mind. 

I was thinking, what is the use of learning so many text, reading Swami Rama’s books or listening to Guruji’s lectures, if one like me cannot even take a single step ahead in the path of Sadhana as suggested by the Himalayan sages?

After coming out of Dhyana Mandira, I was now standing in front of the Sadhashiva cave with double mind whether to go inside or retire back to the room. My thought was interrupted by some object which fell down by a nearby tree branch right in front of Rajarajeshwari Shikharini meditation room. 

The object which fell was of no interest to me, but it helped me to drop both the ideas and instead walk towards Rajarajeshwari Shikharini meditation room. I often ignored this place for some strange reason and today I decided to spend some time out there.

It was bolted from outside. I opened thinking probably the place would need some cleaning to sit and whether if it was a good idea to come here first.

However When I opened the room….

(to be contd...)

- 'Bansuri'

(Please note that the views expressed in this fictional story series are the views of the author's own imagination taking reference from various sources which includes but not limited to Swami Rama & Guruji Pattabhiram's teachings. If you find any text inappropriate, the author seeks humble apologies)